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You really shouldn’t be reading this page. Balurian is so buff you aren’t even hardcore enough to read about him.

Balurian is 10 feet taller than you thought he was.

Balurian didn’t arrive by boat; he swam.

Balurian is made from an alloy of Awesominium and Wintanium.

Balurian’s tears cure Ophidian venom. Unfortunately, he never cries.

Balurian once visited a Fidelian nunnery. That nunnery is now the Chamber of Delights.


Balurian has won Maelstrom, and doesn’t see why anyone else plays anymore.

When Balurian does push-ups, he is not pushing himself up – he pushes the earth down.

Balurian drinks more brandyblend than Fidelia.

What happens when mosquitoes bite Balurian? Dragons.

Balurian has never used the one-second rule, because if Balurian has been hitting you for one second, you are already dead.

Balurian taught the merchant to count.

Balurian doesn’t need a lammied pocketwatch, HE decides what time it is.

Balurian has two speeds: Convert and Kill.

Balurian only uses one damage call. That call is BALURIAN.

Waspor sacrifices to Balurian

Balurian has counted to infinity. Twice. He was on his death count at the time.

Balurian needs no damage calls. If he speaks, you take damage.

The Fallen sold their souls to Balurian in return for their amazing powers.

Balurian chopped down the tech tree.

The last time Balurian sneezed, he created the Maelstrom.

If Balurian was a Coyote Eidolon, he’d throw whole walls at you.

If less than one percent of all the myths about Balurian were true, the entire playerbase would have ganged up and killed him by now.

… No, wait…

Edit this page

Revised by Aquarion @ Sat, 25 Jun 2016 23:30:36 +0000

21 Versions

  1. Sun, 31 Jul 2016 19:09:10 +0000 – Aquarion [ View | Diff ]
  2. Tue, 05 Jul 2016 09:29:14 +0000 – filqwer [ View | Diff ]
  3. Sat, 25 Jun 2016 23:30:36 +0000 – Aquarion [ Current ]
  4. Tue, 14 Jun 2016 10:38:59 +0000 – filqwer [ View | Diff ]
  5. Wed, 07 Apr 2010 15:15:17 +0000 – Aquarion [ View | Diff ]
  6. Fri, 02 Jan 2009 19:52:25 +0000 – KurenaiTenka [ View | Diff ]
  7. Sat, 20 Dec 2008 17:17:08 +0000 – Bluebottle [ View | Diff ]
  8. Tue, 07 Oct 2008 23:58:44 +0000 – Jenasto [ View | Diff ]
  9. Sat, 27 Sep 2008 18:54:04 +0000 – Jenasto [ View | Diff ]
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